Canadian Idol: oxymoron

You get to rate posts now? Gee, great, no pressure.

So anyway, yesterday I was at the Eaton Centre looking for something that fit (and failing), and among the throngs of shoppers, I noticed a few people walking around with pieces of paper pinned to their shirts. They had the Canadian Idol logo and some long number. So I deduced there was a Canadian Idol audition nearby, though still - why would these people finish going through all that standing in line for hours and finally facing some sort of gauntlet, and still walk around with that number pinned on them? Some sort of badge of courage? Well, it's a badge of something, though of what depends on the person, I suppose.

A few years ago, when I heard that there would be a Canadian version of Pop/American/Australian/wherever Idol, I laughed my head off. Canadian...Idol. Has there ever really been such a creature? Well, no. This is going to sound a tad harsh, but English Canadians have pretty much always been genetically crappy at creating idols. Seriously. Any "idols" - celebrities - English Canadians have perceived as such were formed as idols somewhere else. The closest we've come to fully forming an idol and keeping it that way is with Pierre Trudeau, and he was from Quebec. Quebeckers are quite good at making idols; movie and tv stars, rock and pop stars; adored within their province - and they could give a rat's ass who else pays attention. This may be why of all the official Canadian Idols, the most recent, Quebec's Eva Avila, stands a chance in the years to come. She's gotta keep up the Français, though.

Still, why was I really laughing at the prospect of a tv contest where English Canadian aspiring singers compete for the chance to have their career kick-started by the best minds the mainstream Canadian music industry has to offer?

Sorry, I had to pause to laugh again. Man, that never gets old.

You see, the mainstream Canadian music industry IS INCOMPETENT! The chances of them coming up with some plan to properly promote an artist or band and follow it through successfully for more than a couple years (jeez, that was a long phrase) are slim. God knows they try...for a while...then kinda stop. To the best of my personal knowledge, this has been going on for more than 20 years. It is a big reason why artists give up and just go somewhere else. Muchmusic helped a great deal, and clearly there are the odd exceptions, who tend to be bands who take matters into their own hands in a big way (Sloooooan being one example). But the usual pattern is some label signs a band, they sort of make a record, really promote a first single to radio and Much, and then...er...whatever.

Fortunately, things have changed to some extent as avenues have grown for small-label or indie artists. But Canadian Idol is run by those who are still working in the old model - that model that never worked.

Take a look at the careers of Canadian Idol winners. For all the big ratings and tv fame, their trajectories have been the same as all the other artists who've gone through that lame-ass machine. If you think about it, the most successful Canadian Idol contestant likely has been a "loser": Jacob Hoggard, who shined his entertaining Idol exposure straight into his band Hedley, who proceeded to work their asses off with their fortunately au courant brand of punk-pop and carve out some decent sales with their own deal. Will it last? Hard to say (they're on a major, after all), but it's impressive they ever got this far when you compare their fates to those of Jacob's old competitors.

Granted, American Idol has more than their share of failures and mediocrities, which is probably yet another sign of mainstream music's massive sea change. Then again, Kelly Clarkson didn't really get going until she came out from under the Idol system, and she hasn't so far suffered too much from said sea change. But if those Yanks really want to know how be half-assed about fostering artists, they should take notes up here, and watch those kids at the Eaton Centre wear their numbers - maybe as their badge of eternal hope against futility.